Ant Smith

All poems

Swine flu

If I hadn’t read it in the Daily Mail
I’d have thought it were a joke
If pigs weren’t so damn kissable
This story never would have broke
4,000 dead in Mexico before the week is out
Sniffle, sniffling, sniffle, snout
Is this a plague for the devout?
I hope so, does that make me bad?
I hope so, you got to have a fucking laugh.
But it’s okay Dr Who, W.H.O is on the case
They just happen to have a dose
To cure us all
Well, almost
For it’s taken a greater hold
Than digital models had foretold
And if you’re one of the lucky few
To shoot up govern-mental drugs
Thank the lord, or thank fuck
All you caught was pig ‘flu
Next year they’re planning a special case
For floralfeliacs
Woe betide then those who love
Buggery with the shubbery